


Their Kiss

by Hockeystickes



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 12:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14402325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockeystickes/pseuds/Hockeystickes
Summary: "Liking girls makes you gay.""Liking girls makes me suicidal!"The one where Beca is a little ball of self hate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The person who gave me inspiration x](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+person+who+gave+me+inspiration+x).



Beca Mitchell realised she was into girls at the age of just 14. When she realised it she became withdrawn, she became quiet so that no one realised she had a crush on her best friend.

Out of all her friends, she only told one friend, and even that was an accident. All of her friends knew about her self harm but only her closest friend, Ellie, knew why.

By the time she got to college, she knew she was into girls and boys but was still conflicted by it.

* * *

 

When Jesse came along, Beca couldn't be happier. If people saw she was with a boy then they wouldn't suspect her. But when Jesse saw Becas cuts, the old and fresh ones, he did what any good boyfriend would.

 _He asked why_.

"Because I like girls!" screamed Beca, having enough of all the secrets, wanting to shout it to the whole world to keep them off her back.

Shocked, Jesse turned on his defences. "Liking girls makes you gay..." he said with a look of desgust rising.

"NO!" the argument final getting to Beca. She loved Jesse she really did, but she couldn't take him being an arse hat about this. "Liking girls makes me suicidal!"

That seemed to blow the fuse on the argument, and on Jesse. "I...can't be with you...we're over..." stated Jesse, breathing heavy. Beca looked away, ripping through the door running to her room in the Bella house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POV Of Chloe

The latest episode of my little pony had just come out and I was huddled under a blanket watching it. I didn't like the characters or anything. No. No matter what Beca or Aubrey say. No. I like the songs. Nether the less, I had the sound loud, but not loud enough to drown out the noice of the front door, just in the hallway behind me, being slammed shut. Nor did I miss the muffled cry from the Bella running up the stairs. 

Pausing the episode, I turned to start rekindle up the stair case to see what was wrong with the unknown Bella. When at the top of the stairs, I pulled out my phone, preparing to call Beca I case he crying figure was Emily. Beca did seem to have a way with her.

Turning to the door with the muffled crying, I dropped my phone. It was coming from Beca and Fat Amy's room. And that running was way too fast for Fat Amy. That meant Beca, strong, confident, amazing,  **fearless** , Beca was crying.

I creeped to her door, the only noice I allowed myself to make being the know on Becas door. I know from the past that a scared Beca is like an injured, wild animal that should be aproched with caution.

"Go away!" Came a muffled shout form inside, though it wavered a bit. It was unlike a shout from Beca I had ever seen and she argues with everyone. It sounded sad. Something must be really wrong.

"Hey Becs!" I started, unsure in how to help her. " I think I left my pen in your room." I said, cringing at how bad the lie was.

"Bullshit" was all I heard in response. At least she still haa her 'colourful' language armed and ready.

"Beca let me in or I will get Lily to knock this God forsaken door down leaving you without a door to your room for weeks," I threatend, seriously worried for my best friend. I heard a few shuffles from inside the room as a response. 

Realising I hadn't tried the handle yet, I wiggled it, finding that Beca hadn't locked the door. Maybe things weren't too bad. Pulling the door open, I realised just how wrong just one thought can be.

 

* * *

 

In front of me was a sobbing Beca with no shirt on. On another day I would have loved this but it was accompanied by a long line of dripping blood from Beca's wrist. She had cut herself open.

When Beca realised my existence in the room, she panicked, grabbing a pillow and shoving it on top of her wrist. 

Calmly, I walk over and pull the pillow away. I felt heart broken when I felt no resistance. Beca had well and truly given up.

If the lack of resistance didn't prove that, then the razor staining the usually white carpet red did. Or the slit intended to kill.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T.T

I run to the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit as fast as possible. I had expected many things, but not this. Not the woman I love crying over some unknown thing, God if it was Jesse I will kill him. But that will have to wait for later, my poor little baby needs me now.

Racing to Beca at record speed, I begin clerking up the cut, realising it's purpose. It was long but it wasn't deep. After badging up the cuts, I sit Beca down on her bed before grabbing some paper to pick up the razor blade with. 

We both remained silent throughout the interaction, lost in a sea of thoughts. What could have driven such a brave girl to this? I thought as I disposed of the offending item to my Beca's pain. 

Once done cleaning up, I stalked back to the room, happily greeted by the sight of Beca not having moved from where I left here. I walked over and sat next to Beca on her twin bed. 

"I need to explain don't I?" Choked out Beca after a whole 5 minutes and 37 seconds of silence. But who was counting anyway?

I slowly nodded my head before shifting Beca into anew awkward side hug where her head was resting on my chest and my arms where rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"Take as long as you need." I said, attempting to sound warm. Really, I just wanted to know who the fuck did his to my baby so I could set the girls on them.

"I'm single again." Squeaked out Beca, before the tears hardend, soaking through my top. The dick. "And he saw the rest of my scars." So there are others. Shit. How long has she been cutting without me realising. My poor baby girl. " And I deserve to die..."

"No you don't sweetie." I answered swiftly. She hated herself. That must have started this. But I know Jesse. Not particulary well bit I do know ow he wouldn't have broken up with Beca just like that. Not without a real reason. "Why did devil boy I mean Jesse break up with you? What happened? " I pressed. 

"I'm a stupid a hit that no one could ever love. That's what happend. It's all my fault."

'"I doubt that very much. You are amazing! Your just having a bad day sweetie." I said softly, hoping to lift this spell of depression.

"I'm bisexual! I am desgusting and should die because of it. What did I do so wrong to make me like girls? But it's okay. Give my a razor blade. I can cure myself. I can make myself better. I can get rid of this disease in me!" Screeched Beca. She thought of her love for ladies as a disease? 

"There is nothing wrong with being bi Becs! Lots of people are. It just makes you unique and in my eyes, perfect."

Beca's face turned to one of pain. Like the words I am speaking are alien. "How could  **I...** be perfect? I am literally a revolving door of emotions!" She screeched. Oh my poor little baby. This isn't how I wanted of reveal my love but never mind.

"Because I'm gay." I answers shortly. Beca'a face fell. "AND I love you. And it pains me to see you like this." Beca'a face morphes into one of confusion. 

I leaned forward and stuck my lips right onto hers, tasting blood from where she had been biting her lips along with strawberries. Beca'a lips are as perfect as they are in all my dreams. The best part? Becs kissed back! After all the pain and anguish,  she kissed back.


	4. 1 Year Later

"Please tell me that can be my last phycologist session." Pleaded My Beca as she walked in from her trip to the phycologist. Today had been a short one because of the anniversary, but I hadn't mentioned it, wondering if Beca had remembered.

She walked over to behind where I am sitting and leaned over to kiss my lips. Her lips tasted the same as last year, minus the blood, but still full of electricity. After my peck I received a whispered "You know what today is?"

"I would tell you, but I don't know how."

"Then it's a good job I knoe de wae." She said only to burst out laughing. I frowned, obviously confused. " It's a meme... never mind. Only a true bruder would knoe!"

"It's our anniversary babe, shut up and kiss me."I barely finished before she complied.

 


End file.
